I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
