My sheets look like a crime scene.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
