I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
