Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
