loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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