She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
