I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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