took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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