so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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