OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
