I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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