Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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