if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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