In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
