So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
