oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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