At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
