I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
