Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
