I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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