My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
