He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
