I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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