I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
