i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize