I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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