they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
