I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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