he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
