Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
