why didn't you poke me back
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize