You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
