The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize