Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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