I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
FUCK WHALES
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize