How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
