Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
