I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
