For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
