Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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