Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
