I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
