All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
