Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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