I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
