their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She said her name was "party"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
