i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
