no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
