Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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