that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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