Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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