dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
