get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
