Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
MIDGETS
????
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize