My hand turned me down
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize