To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
