I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
