Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
