Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize