At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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