i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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