i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
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I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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