his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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