Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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